Runcible Blog

The Iowa caucus is rapping up by now, and it looks like Kerry will win (boo! hiss!).

That whole caucus concept is so archaic. Watching it on CSPAN is about as much fun as watching little kids choose teams for a kickball game. I thought I was bad for not being able to outline adequately Dean's platform for undecided voters; these caucus-goers seem surprisingly superficial. One Dean supporter said, "Join us. Governors are natural presidents." (paraphrased). Most of the people at the caucuses on TV seemed motivated more by gut than reason, which I suppose isn't a bad thing. But it doesn't bode well.

I support Dean for some superficial reasons too: I don't trust Kerry because he's a Skull and Bones member (and won't talk about it); I can't support Clark because I'd rather not vote for someone from the military industrial complex; Edwards doesn't impress me (talk about a superficial reason!) and just doesn't seem interesting enough. Kucinich has some good ideas, but he wouldn't stand a chance against Bush attack ads. No, I still think Dean can take the nomination and put up a good fight against Bush. He's certainly not the radical liberal many pundits have tried to paint him as (I disagree with some of Dean's opinions -- for instance, his support of the Afghanistan war). And he doesn't seem like the angry, pessimistic candidate everyone's harping about. It's called standing up for something -- Washington insiders could learn a thing or two.

As an aside, I just heard Chris Matthews ask, "DO YOU THINK THE PERCEPTION THAT DEAN IS ANGRY HAS HURT HIM IN IOWA? DOES IT SEEM THAT HE'S YELLING AT PEOPLE?" Gee, I don't know, Chris, but the yelling bit seems to have worked for you!

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Getting back to that sweaty caucus, I propose that instead of having each candidate's supporters try to sway each other to join one camp or another, they should fight to the death for their candidate. They should paint their faces with goat's blood, dress in their candidate's traditional tartan colors, and wield battle axes and spears. Whichever group survives claims all of Iowa's delegates for their candidate...and gets to rape and pillage the nearest metropolis.

All I'm saying is that if you're going to use archaic systems like caucuses, why not go all out and get medieval on the electorate?