Runcible Blog

Plop Plop, Fizz Fizz

(this might be a little gross)

Whenever I have to do #2 in a public bathroom, I'm usually struggling to keep myself from bursting out in laughter. The noises people make while moving their bowels are hilarious. First, you get the pre-dump farting -- sometimes it's just a squeak while other times it's a deep, throaty honker. Then comes the big push. You can tell that this squeeze requires a monumental effort; the groaning intensifies while the entire stall starts to shake. After a protracted labor period, the doo breaks free from its rectal prison and begins its free-fall like a crunchy brown cluster bomb, plunging into the turbid waters of the tidy bowl. Peeeeeeeeewwwww! Splash!

For the astute observer, this process provides a constant stream of comedy (to say nothing of the constant stream of fecal matter). Everybody has their own defecating idiosyncrasies -- their own unique anal timbre and primal pooping yell. As for me, I'm generally rather quiet while making an offering to the porcelain deity. I prefer to listen to others doing their business while having a good laugh inside my head.

This whole crappy observation is funny for me, but then again, I'm weird.