Runcible Blog

Pretty people have it easy

A hot reporter (sorry, not my type though -- not ugly enough) frequently comes around looking for computer assistance. She does the puppy-dog eyes, damsel in distress act, hoping for a prompt response from us computer jerks. I don't quite understand why she feels she has to put on the charm -- it's not like we're going to tell her to pound sand. Actually, she's asked for help with her home computer, which we're not supposed to do. But I swear that before she asked for help she must've stood in front of an air conditioner, if you know what I mean. And she was, you know, putting her arms together for maximum impact.

Hey, gimme a break. Unfortunately, I can't deny that such techniques are effective, but what does it say about someone when they feel they have to bat their eyelashes or bend over more often (consciously or not) in order to get what they want?

Obviously it works for her, but could I get away with such shenanigans? Geeze, who would fall for my allure? I know, next time I happen to need something from a desperate, middle-aged divorcee I'll show a little leg or unbutton my shirt suggestively. I'll toss a couple potatoes in my underwear (in the front, not the back!) too. It works for Canadians! Then I'll take a trip to the nursing home and put all the old grannies under my spell. "Oh, Mildred, did you drop something? Let me pick that up for you..." as I brandish my enchanting butt crack.

That reminds me: what's the deal with young ladies going out with old geezers?! This girl at Wally's was swooning over a pudgy septuagenarian. Mega-eww! I can understand maybe a 10 year age difference if you think that older people are wiser or more mature or whatever, but if you're dating someone old enough to be your grandfather, I think that's a borderline mental disorder. Old geezers aren't off the hook either. I'm sure they're not looking for stimulating conversation from ditsy wannabe models.

So, the moral is: don't try to seduce your way through life.....unless you're hot.