Runcible Blog

be a pianist overnight!

That's the claim made by the 1987 video, "Play Piano Overnight", taught by the legendary Patty Carlson. My grandfather suggested I watch it because it taught him a thing or two. He kept bugging me to watch it until I finally did last night. Boy, was it worth the wait! Patty Carlson blows my mind with her unbridled talent! From the box:

People have been fooled by the belief that it takes years of training to play music. They have also thought that the ability to compose music is a rare gift. My method of teaching will prove to you that these beliefs are no longer true.

Oh, snap! Preach it, Patty!

I watched this video then went to sleep. When I awoke, I could instantly play wonderful 1987 vintage piano music! Jan Hammer, look out!

She starts with the basics -- "These are the white keys. Well, I like to call them 'keys'. Just ignore those black ones for now." Then she progresses to chords before unveiling her revolutionary finger technique -- "the New Age Stretch", which is just playing the 1-5-octave with the left hand. Don't ask me why it's "New Age"; I guess everything was back then. Then, an advanced lesson: "Improvisation is a term I use for 'making up music.'" She demonstrates how to do a simple bassline around the "New Age Stretch" while playing a shmaltzy melody with the right hand. "You can play any white key over this, and it'll sound ok." Wow, that's some good instruction!

The only chord progression that she seems to like is VI-IV-V-IV-I or some variation. It's a nice progression for shlocky, "New Age Stretch" kinda stuff, but what else would you possibly want to play?! That's right, nothing.

I'm a Patty Carlson convert, for sure. Check out these testimonials from the back of the box:

Patty makes the piano a toy and brings joy and enchantment to making music.
Helen Howlett -- housewife
It changed my life! Patty Carlson's method is even better than she says.
Barbi Benton -- Actress/Singer
Me play white keys real good now. Baaaaby Ruuuth!
Sloth -- character from The Goonies

I would recommend Patty's video to all my friends, if I had any! I'm too busy becoming a big fat pianist overnight!

Now I'm going to check out another great video: "Learn to Play Music With Just Two Notes!" by Philip Glass. "Hours of music in a 30 minute video."