Runcible Blog

pet peeve

pet peeve: using the word "crash" as a euphemism for "sleep."

Substituting crash for sleep doesn't make the act of sleeping any hipper, contrary to popular usage. Why is it acceptable to say, "I partied so hard that I had to crash at my friend's house," while it would be awkward to say, "my grandfather usually crashes around 6pm, after eating dinner and watching the History Channel"? In the former case, there's at least some tenuous relationship to the original definition of "crash," but people also try to stretch the meaning to apply more to situations like the latter example. For instance, if I invite someone over for tea and crumpets, and my guest is too tired to go home, he'd be silly to say, "hey, dude, may I crash here?" There's no crashing in that situation. I'm sorry. Unless you come stumbling into the door, knocking things over and peeing on the floor, you're not crashing. Perhaps you're settling in for a long winter's nap, resting your eyes, having a bit of a doze, or paying a visit to winkin' blinkin' and nod. But you, sir, are not crashing.

Instead of worrying about using the euphemism tastefully, just don't use it at all. I don't want to hear about anyone crashing unless we're talking about airplanes or automobiles. While it may not be as edgy just to sleep, the word works perfectly well on its own.

In general, I'm irked when people hijack usurp commandeer words and misuse their alternate definitions. So, knock it off, you dig?

(tune in next time for the complete list of words that Dave does not speak because they make him feel uncomfortable to hear out loud)