Runcible Blog

This latest installment of my favorite spam is just what I've been waiting for -- an all-pizza, no-exercise diet! And if I can lose 22 pounds like the email says, why, that would bring me down to 113lbs! Then I can pursue my modeling career! Yay! Thank you, bulk email!!

From: max_orman@msn.com
To: Me
Cc: (other people with similar email addresses)
Subject: Eat pizza, watch TV ... and lose 22 pounds
Date: Thu, 23 Jan 2003 12:26:55 +1100

Hi !
If you're like me, you've tried EVERYTHING to lose weight. I know how you feel - the special diets, miracle pills, and fancy exercise equipment never helped me lose a pound either. It seemed like the harder I tried, the bigger I got, until I heard about a product called Power Diet Plus.

You're probably thinking to yourself, "Oh geez, not another miracle diet pill!" Like you, I was skeptical at first, but my sister swore it helped her lose 23 pounds in just two weeks, so I told her I'd give it a shot. I mean, there was nothing to lose except a lot of weight! Let me tell you, it was the best decision I've ever made. Period. Six months later, as I'm writing this message to you, I've gone from 355 pounds to 210 pounds, and I haven't changed my exercise routine or diet at all. Yes, I still eat pizza, and lots of it!
...

You're probably asking yourself, "Ok, so how does this stuff actually work?"

Power Diet Plus contains Lipotropic fat burners which are scientifically proven to increase metabolism and cause rapid weight loss. No "hocus pocus" in these pills - just RESULTS, RESULTS, RESULTS!!

Here is the bottom line ...

I can help you lose 10-15 pounds per week naturally, without exercising and without having to eat rice cakes all day. Just try it for one month - there's nothing to lose, and everything to gain. You will lose weight fast - GUARANTEED. That is my pledge to you.

Wait a minute. If there's nothing to lose, how can I lose weight? Is that saying that I'm gaining a loss in weight? Zha??
And it's pretty cool that I can lose 10-15 pounds per week. If I continue with the program, in just over two months, I'll vanish into nothingness. Send me them pills!

A weak president was able to turn this into the quick-fix of a revenge attack upon Afghanistan. A quick response was also desired by our culture with its penchant for the fast, the instant, the get-to-the-solution. A strong president would, instead, have stood tall and demanded the patience and resolve of the American public in tracking down the criminal perpetrators of the 9/11 attacks, using the combined powers of the international intelligence communities.

There are those who would criticize the author for neglecting America's loss and focusing entirely on foreign deaths, but as the author states, "I have chosen, today as we remember, to focus upon Afghanistan because it is the lesser known of the twin tragedies. It is the 'Other' tragedy." If the mainstream media had done it's job of reporting the facts and providing a balanced story, there would be no need for articles like these. Here's a fancy graph:

"To say that the civilian deaths from aerial bombardment are unintentional is sophistry, because if there is a probability that the bombs will hit civilian targets, then ipso facto the civilian deaths are not unintentional. This is tantamount to saying that a drunk driver who did not intend to kill someone in an "accident" should be set free for lacking of such intention...aerial bombardment always already intends to kill civilians, despite the best intentions of military planners."

The above quote reminded me of a recent cable news anchor interviewing a retired general or some other "expert" and mentioning "...a war with Iraq could mean possible casualties..." Hello? "possible casualties" in a war? Of course there will be casualties, and lots of them! The problem is that Americans are largely blind to all the death that war brings. Even in the last Gulf War, the media was kept far away from the front lines, and most of the war footage was coming from the DOD, particularly all the video game "smart"-bomb cameras. Don't think the military isn't carefully controlling what we see. In an article entitled What Bodies?, Patrick Sloyan describes one battle in Iraq and the ensuing cover-up by the army. It is a literal "cover-up" -- the "Armored Combat Earth" movers' jobs are to go through the battle field and plow over all the dead bodies. Think about that. Finally, back to the original article:

"Washington's war on terrorism is primarily a euphemism for extending US control in the world. Following its bombing of Iraq, the US wound up with military bases in Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar. Following its bombing of Yugoslavia, the US wound up with military bases in Kosovo, Albania, Macedonia, Hungary, Bosnia and Croatia. Following its bombing of Afghanistan, Washington appears on course to wind up with military bases in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan and perhaps elsewhere in the region. Thus does the empire grow."

By all accounts, the "clock is ticking" toward a war with Iraq(even though the president originally said there was no timetable...). It may be too late to stop the clock, but it's important for Americans to see the real toll on human life that war takes and the priorities our culture (not to mention the culture of terrorism) places regarding the value of one person's life over another's. Do life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness not apply to the rest of the world's civilians?