Runcible Blog

What a super night I'm having. I'm typing this from the porcelain throne because I ate some crazy stuff. Let's see, I had:

• 2 donuts for breakfast
• microwaveable macaroni and cheese for lunch, with diet lemonade (only because I didn't realize it was diet)
• a cheese on wheat bread sandwich for a 3:00 snack
• a bag of popcorn...
• grapes, to counteract the popcorn
• oreos, just moments ago.

Now I'm feeling a little bloated. And I've got to do something about this looming pot belly...Some of my pairs of pants are getting tighter (granted, they were just the right size with no room when I bought them). I tell myself that I'll be back to my mongoose-like physique when spring rolls around. (haha. spring rolls! gross)

Watching Alien vs. Predator a little while ago probably also contributed to my sick stomach. The movie isn't gory, but the acting, dialog, and plot are excruciating. It's like Turner and Hooch meets Pacman. The $65,000,000 budget seems to have gone to waste -- the action sequences show black blobs (the aliens and the predators) bouncing off each other in the dark at 3 frames per second. I can only assume that something exciting was happening.

I knew the movie was widely regarded as a dud, but I rented it anyway because, hey, it's ALIEN vs. PREDATOR! Unfortunately, all the critics were right, and I just blew $5.

Rewinding a bit, when I got out of my car at Blockbuster, I closed the door on the cord hanging from my coat in such a way that it was stuck inside the latch. I couldn't turn the key to unlock the door. What are the chances of that?! I cut off the cord and fiddled with the lock for a while. I almost got worried because the passenger side door lock doesn't work. I would have no way of opening the door. I opened the trunk, but the pull-down seats lock from the inside. Thankfully, after carefully turning the key, I was able to unlock the door without breaking anything. Geeze.

Well, it's time to flush this thing and get back to gluttony and mindless consumption.

Last week I went in to Boston to shoot some pictures, but first I stopped at Burrito Max because it's been a while since I've had a burrito fix. I learned a valuable lesson: don't scarf down a burrito and expect to be productive afterwards.

I headed into the subway and made it to Park Street. While waiting for the red line, I started to feel a little comotion in my stomach. I figured it would pass and went around in circles trying to walk it off. But as I was standing, the feeling wasn't going away, and my alimentary canal started waking up. I briskly walked back up to the green line. Sitting on the green line heading back to Kenmore, I could actually feel my butt sweating. Squirming in my seat trying to hold everything in, I couldn't even wait to get to Kenmore -- I bounded off the train at Hynes and powerwalked back to Kenmore.

As I got closer to Burrito Max, my colon, which seems to be connected directly to my eyes, began choogling even more. My powerwalk turned into a sprint. I slowed down before reaching the door so as not to look like a silly person and calmly made my way to the loo. Because of that whole eye-to-rectum connection, the sight of the toliet quickened my bowel movements to the point where I was scrambling to detach all my camera stuff and belt buckles and zippers.

Finally, I let er rip almost before I was able to sit down. Ahhhh....relief.

I came thisclose to pooping in my pants. If it wasn't for my superior skills in bodily function withholding, I would've made a mess somewhere around Copley.

Feeling uneasy after that ordeal, I just drove home. I didn't want to risk another potential disaster.

All I have to show for that day is one lousy picture:

I had several nightmares last night. I think eating a cheese sandwich just before bed must've caused it. I don't remember most of the dreams, but I know in one I was lost in a creepy house with a group of people that I knew (but I don't know who they are in real life). In another, I was with some unidentified girl in a store, and suddenly she disappeared. I must've spent 20 minutes (in dream time) looking for her. not exactly scary, but sad.

I think I'm missing what is so great about Clerks. I don't think I've seen the entire movie because every time I notice it while flipping through the channels, the acting is so lousy that it doesn't hold my attention. *shrug*

I feel much better than earlier, though still not quite right. I need to figure out what's going on upstairs.

And, yeah, I guess I worry too much. Maybe everything will be fine.