I'm coming up to my 1st anniversary of working at the Eagle-Tribune, and I have to say that I'm surprised I'm still employed there. What I said when I started working still applies today -- I would rather be doing something to help others in a meaningful way.
But it's funny how being employed for a while tends to distract people from doing what they really want to do. How many times have you heard of someone who's worked for decades doing the same job but hasn't had the time or energy to pursue their dreams? What I didn't anticipate about working (this has been the longest job I've had [well, really just my second job]) is that the day-to-day rat race has a way of draining my time and squelching my motivation. It's not that I lack energy; I have too much energy at the end of the day because I sit in a chair endlessly at work. But somehow, when I get home, I'm not motivated to do anything productive other than maybe catching up on the news or watching TV. It's sad, really. And the time I spend at work isn't particularly productive since I'm basically self-managed. I've certainly learned a lot about programming, web technologies, and junk like that, but what good are those skills? All those jobs are experiencing a mass exodus. (actually, I saw an ad for a "senior engineer" programming PHP stuff in India for $2,500/year. I semi-seriously thought about applying since it must be a cheap place to live, filled with exotic sights and interesting people. BUT, I don't think I could stomach the food.)
I don't have an answer to my lack of purpose. I think I've gotten over feeling defensive when people ask me about college. At least I know what I don't want to do...But I've thought and looked into classes on journalism and writing (not to mention photography), however the night school offerings are either silly or nonexistent.
It seems like I go down this road often. I probably sound like a broken record, "what to do, what to do, what to do...."
I haven't forgotten about my idea for a local newspaper of sorts, but I'm so out of touch with the community that it seems like a monumental effort.
Probably the best thing about this blog, for me, is that I can look back at the ideas I had and the promises I made (to myself, mainly) and kick myself for not keeping them. cause no one else will.
hey, I'm still a vegetarian after 8 months -- I'm serious about keeping promises.