Runcible Blog

first time voter

I voted yesterday. yay. I voted to remove the income tax, but apparently my vote was not enough. OK, so there are approximately 70,207 people in Lawrence. there are 25,941 registered voters According to 11,363 Lawrencians voted for governor. That makes 16% of the population. 16% of the population determining who will govern 100% of the citizens. That's sad.

somebody rescue me

--> I don't want to be here. This place is crazy. My mother lives in her own little world, miles away from her family. So she just got a car. great, but I won't be able to use it because insurance is too expensive. ok. So, she's showing everybody her car and naming it and other stupid crap like that. great. And her room, with her dog and her fish and her ridiculous african/chinese decorative motif are immaculate, while the rest of the house (not to mention the family) is in shambles. She's so oblivious, I could probably cut my arm off and she wouldn't notice unless it prohibited me from fixing her computer after it fries from having too much cigarette smoke blown at it. How can I get out of here?

messed up

I'm stuck in some kind of whacky sleep cycle. I need to get into a normal routine. For this latest photo assignment, I was thinking of photographing myself crying. It might just work.

new server

--> As if anyone cares, I have a new server that might be a little faster. It's actually a downgrade in a sense, but it has potential. Now, I'm going to try to take pictures of a "mood"


--> I'm sad. I've been sad for a while now. I lost a huge part of my life. It's gone. I want someone to care about so that I can stop thinking about myself. Seeing happy couples cuddling in public nearly brings me to tears. Writing these words has the same effect. It's a lousy feeling when you care so much about someone who doesn't know how to love another. And no matter how much I say or how eloquently I try to say it, she'll never understand; she'll never care as much as she lead me to believe she did. Slowly, slowly, I'm chasing her memory from my conscious mind (though not a day, or hour goes by without her passing through my brain), but she still invades my unconscious -- she haunts my dreams with happiness that we'll never again share..... Now I must sleep. Please, stay out of my dreams. It hurts so much.