Runcible Blog

I just got back from seeing The Matrix Reloaded.
I went alone because I have no friends.
At first I thought, "This movie is lame -- taking itself too seriously."
But after a while, I thought, "This rocks."
Did anyone else notice that while the Architect was talking about how they had to create an imperfect world -- a world as "grotesque" as reality, the monitors flashed pictures of Hitler, some other thing, then George Bush? Nice touch. Subtle too.
The end.

So I went shopping at Guitar Center the other day, possibly looking to buy a classical or flamenco guitar, but instead I ended up buying a book that I probably won't read. The interesting thing is that none of the sales people seemed to acknowledge me as a possible customer. It probably had something to do with my shirt that was full of holes, or maybe my unmatched socks. But little did they know, I could've bought a guitar on the spot. The salespeople always go after the guys in polo shirts or turtlenecks -- like shooting fish in a barrel. The salespeople at Daddy's Junky Music in Salem (there are usually way too many people working there at any given time), however, treat everyone who walks in as a potential victim. They look for impressionable kids and then start wailing on the guitars or slapping the basses to shock and awe little Jimmy into convincing mommy to buy some piece of garbage instrument. So anyway, they're jerks.

But the moral of the story is that if you don't want salespeople to bother you, dress like a bum. It works for me, and I don't even have to try! Then, as your leaving the store, be sure to wave some greenbacks in the air and yell "You're not getting any of my cash, suckers!" while peeling out of the parking lot. That'll teach 'em.

Yesterday, my father and I hiked around the Fells Forest (it's probably called something else) in Winchester. The weather was great, and the exercise was badly needed. The top of the hill offers a scenic vista of Boston and the Blue Hill further to the south. I even drank from a run-off stream from Winchester's reservoir and survived.

Later, we saw A Mighty Wind (Christopher Guest's latest "mocumentary"). It's like This is Spinal Tap for folk music, but "Spinal Tap" was definitely a better movie. There was a total of about 10 people in the theater, and a couple left halfway through the movie. "A Mighty Wind" features the same cast as Best in Show, which explains why the movie seems a bit derivative. It's very similar to "Best in Show" in the humor and character development. I had the feeling that I had seen the movie before, only with dogs instead of folk singers. But either way, it's not a bad movie. Harry Shearer, Michael McKean, and Christopher Guest are underrated comedians, if you ask me. If you want to pass the time before The Matrix Reloaded premieres, go see "A Mighty Wind".

Whenever I have to do #2 in a public bathroom, I'm usually struggling to keep myself from bursting out in laughter. The noises people make while moving their bowels are hilarious. First, you get the pre-dump farting -- sometimes it's just a squeak while other times it's a deep, throaty honker. Then comes the big push. You can tell that this squeeze requires a monumental effort; the groaning intensifies while the entire stall starts to shake. After a protracted labor period, the doo breaks free from its rectal prison and begins its free-fall like a crunchy brown cluster bomb, plunging into the turbid waters of the tidy bowl. Peeeeeeeeewwwww! Splash!

For the astute observer, this process provides a constant stream of comedy (to say nothing of the constant stream of fecal matter). Everybody has their own defecating idiosyncrasies -- their own unique anal timbre and primal pooping yell. As for me, I'm generally rather quiet while making an offering to the porcelain deity. I prefer to listen to others doing their business while having a good laugh inside my head.

This time, a couple thugs were chasing after me and trying to smash up my car because I accidentally ran into them.