Runcible Blog

Chong-Jik "Honesty"

First off, I don't shave very often, but I've only ever used a Mach 3 razor, until now. And I never had any problems with it (no missing limbs so far). Since the blades were getting old, I wanted to replace them but ended up buying the cheaper Sensor 3...because it's cheaper, and I'm cheap. It looks pretty similar -- three blades, some other suspension thingys, plastic doodads. But it's junk! It doesn't work as well and causes razor burn quite easily. What gives? I think the cheaper ones are intentionally made to lower standards (maybe that's just obvious). How hard is it to make these things?

Anyway, so I got the tattoo above today at Dragon's Lair in Salem, NH. Before getting it I went across the street to the Korean grocery store to make sure I had looked up the right word. There were a couple women there who were very friendly and helpful. They corrected my pronunciation (Chong-Jik rather than Jong-Jik) and said that it's a very powerful word that means more than honesty. I should've asked them to elaborate. One woman was talking about how her son has a bunch of tattoos and that he spent $25,000 on a dragon. Unfortunately, since many Koreans are hardcore Christians, she freaked out and had to pray for him. She also scoffed at the tattoo on my back "What is that, Buddha?!". Haha. sorry!

She also told me not to put it where I decided because people don't "respect" the bottom half of the body. It would be more prudent to write "honesty" somewhere more visible like on my arm. But I had already decided where to put it. I was thinking about it later and noticed that the word sits right at the spot where the hands go when making the "dyana mudra" during meditation. If I touch thumbs, chong-jik should show between the "mystic triangle". So, I think it's a powerful word in a significant spot.

It didn't hurt much at all (probably because there's nothing boney around). And it only took about 15 minutes, it seemed. All in all, it's a good experience and a meaningful sentiment.

I just have to make sure I don't get really fat so that it doesn't look like an unsightly blob on a pot-belly.

1. There's nothing like a scalding hot shower in the morning. Who cares about 3rd degree burns?
2. I've got to start bringing my own lunch every day. Josh noted that eating out daily costs us about $120 a month. Yikes! I never realized.... That could buy me a tattoo or something.

Looking back at old entries, I realize how stupid I am.

Maybe I should quit writing all this drivel.

Well it was a different weekend, to say the least. sleepless, fascinating, new, and so on. Yet somehow I feel...detached. I feel like I'm just observing my life from a sanitary distance. It's as if I apply equal effort everywhere with no concern for consequences. In a half awake state a few nights ago I blabbed about how I just "try my best" at whatever it is I'm doing. I think that's true (for the things I choose to try), but now I wonder if trying is all there is. What purpose does it serve? What's the meaning of trying for the sake of trying? I believe that one should "burn oneself" in one's current activity -- "participate", "be present", "be aware" to the fullest extent possible. That's absolutely worth aiming for.

What effect does that burning have on others? Can somebody else get hurt from being too close? Maybe. That's a sad thought because if the intent is to make everybody else happy, then surely there is more to it than just burning? What happens when the fire goes out? All that's left is ashes. (and disappointment? for whom?)

I'm being so obtuse right not that I might as well stop.

I'm just confused that the one time when I should feel something, I oddly feel empty. I'm grasping for meaning and hoping not to ruin anyone else in the process.

These are from a recent, less than fruitful, day riding the red line. I tried to explain at my class what I'm looking for in the subway photos that I've done and continue to do. I keep saying that I'm looking to capture the interaction (and lack of interaction) between people, but that's not quite right. I'm really looking for connections between one person and another, between a person and their environment, and ultimately, between people and me (or my camera, anyway). A person doesn't have to do anything to make a connection. Sometimes it's obviously visible. For instance, someone who is intentionally trying to shut out the world might inadvertently make a connection with me because I notice his game. The moments where that experience is visually translatable seem few and far between. Maybe I'm not looking hard enough.

I saw a girl on the subway who had an old bike with her. She rested her head on it, examined its pedals, and chewed on its cables. It was beautiful -- her connection to her bike. But the pictures I took don't show that well enough. What a shame.

On another note, here I am as one of those dudes from Dune: