Runcible Blog

It's ok to be different, as long as you're just like all the other different people

As I expected, I was not up to the dress code standards at the ManRay nightclub in Cambridge. I wore my security guard uniform (I even had handcuffs!). The exchange went something like this: bouncer 1 (to bouncer 2): "Uh, is this going to work?" bouncer 2 (looking me over with a flashlight): "No. Sorry. You're wearing green pants and brown shoes. We can't let you in. Sorry." I guess I'm not cut out for that sort of thing. I could go back on thursday when there is no dress code. But Thursday is gay night....I wouldn't fit in there either. Where do all the non-punk, non-goth, non-yuppie, non-eurotrash, somewhat odd people go??? Do we just stay indoors?


*sigh*

--> From: G-heh kim Date: Fri Oct 11, 2002 00:28:23 US/Eastern To: "Dave St.Germain" Subject: Re: how do you do it? ....... >Rightttt...well, since you're doing such a great job >"moving on", what >can I do? Should I go to a club and try to pick up >a drunk chick? (I'm not joking) if that's what you want to do. or you can do something productive...i'm not sure what, since your options are so limtied. i'm doing sucha great job moving on because like i said, from the beginning my priority is schoolwork and it's stayed that way, and it probably won't change. I dont' dwell on it all the time because if i did, i wouldn't be able to get any work done. >I've told you that you could talk to me if you >wanted to. But you seem to convince yourself that >I hate you, so you avoid you GAVE me that impression. you distinctly told me that you thought i was a slut and a liar and a bitch, so i just assumed from those hints that you had strong feelings of dislike. i avoid talking to you becuase i'm afraid whatever i say you will take in the wrong way or read too much into it. and then attack me again. how could you even ask why or how i think that you hate me, you Clearly gave me that impression. by those emails, those threats, the last phone call before i left for Korea. >I couldn't help but notice how unsure you sounded >when you said >"...even if I did think about a relationship, I >_doubt_ I'd pursue i'm tired of being in a relationship, you actually have to spend time with the persona nd care about them and have them be your num one priority. i dont' have that kind of time. My relationship wiht you took alot out of me, and so i'm tired and i'm constantly depressed despite the fact that i'm trying hard not to be. and you dont' believe that i put alot into that relationship and i did, and i'm tired, i feel like i lost a great part of me. relationships take alot of effort and work. i say i doubt, because i do, i'm sorry for being honest with you. i only mentioned it because that's the way i felt. i didnt' say it just to make you feel better, i said it because that was the truth. -jk



Am I building character or digging my own grave?

I take back those things I said about being proud to live in Lawrence.....But first, where did I leave off? Oh yes. I ended up going to Winchester to jam with Nathan, the fretless guitarist. We played some very strange, "out", atonal stuff. It was the weirdest stuff I've ever played, but it was interesting regardless. He's into "microtonal" melodies and unusual time signatures. I'm sure we'll jam again (since I forgot my hat at his place). Then, I went back into Boston and met up with Judy and John to take a trip to the MFA. I'm just glad the admission was free. Finally, I made it to NESOP and developed film and printed some awful things. I don't know what was going wrong, but everything looked like crap to me. And I'm supposed to have a few more prints for class tomorrow. *sigh* I got out of there late, and for some reason, I was compelled to have a conversation with Jehae. Even though I keep trying to tell myself to forget about her, I can't. And it was a very emotional conversation. It pains me to see how easily she's been able to forget about me, but I can't say I blame her. By the time that was over, I was emotionally drained and just plain tired. And since it was probably too late to make the last train out of town, I had to find a place to sleep. After a pointless trek to Allston and back, I finally settled on the College of Arts and Sciences building. I've slept there twice before, and it is not pleasant. But it beats sleeping outside. So, I slept on one of the couches, with my bass firmly held between my legs, my head resting against the neck as a pillow, and my backpack strap wrapped around my neck just in case someone tried to steal it. I was so tired that I mostly ignored the janitors that clean all night, and I woke up only several times. I got up around 7:45 -- just in time to move on before classes started. So, I got about 6 hours sleep. not bad. Oh, and when I got off the train in Lawrence, I was pleasantly surprised to see that no one stole my bike. But then I noticed that someone slashed both tires (which cost about $40 each) and stole the toolkit I had in the saddle pouch (another $40). Thanks! So, I walked home, with my bass, and my backpack, and my bike with two flat tires. The end.


Frustration

I woke up at 6:30 this morning so that I could get an early start on developing and printing at NESOP. Much to my dismay, the guy at NESOP said that since I'm a workshop student, I can't use the darkroom until 5PM!!! So here I am, in the BU computer room with nothing to do. I told Nathan, the kid I met at north station, that I might be able to jam today. But he lives in Winchester....I suppose I could go. ARG!!! What a pain. I'll update later with some observations on photography in Lawrence.